LEI 388  Introduction to Organisational Behaviour in Leisure Services

Writing reflective essays

Topics

Academic writing style

Reflective essays

Essay structure

Paragraph structure

Transition words

Referencing

Plagiarism

Academic writing

Students often complain about the way lecturers speak and write.  They think it is unnecessary and convoluted.  There are probably some academics that do speak and write in a convoluted and dense way.  However, most academic writing is not needlessly complicated; it is just different from every day speech.  It is understandable to want to write the way we speak.  However, at university level, students are required to write in an academic way, which may be different from the way students normally speak

What is wrong?

“Men and women are victims of their anatomy”, in my opinion people are simply products of there culture.  The process by which individuals learn a culture, socialisation involves learning social rules and expectations of behaviour that can be divided into two stages, i.e. primary and secondary socialisation.  I believe that time, place, age, status & job, etc. can all effect values, attitudes and behaviour – the socialisation we all recieve – and may well affect the treatment we recieve as they’re is no knowing the hell that a man goes through in that, their is only one thing that really matters and that is that there is adequate socialisation to prepare one for life.  Its man that believes he controls his own destiny, but at the same time an individuals own personality is also shaped by the culture in which they live Meads theory is that this process is shaped by social interaction and occurs in three distinct stages of human developement.

What is wrong?… the corrections

“Men and women are victims of their anatomy” (reference?), in my opinion (unnecessary) people are simply products of there (spelling) culture.  The process by which individuals learn a culture, socialisation (comma) (define) involves learning social rules and expectations of behaviour that can be divided into two stages, i.e. (avoid abbreviation) primary and secondary socialisation.  I believe (unnecessary) that time, place, age, status & (avoid abbreviation) job, etc. (delete) can all effect (spelling) values, attitudes and behaviour – the socialisation we all recieve (spelling) – and may well effect (spelling) the treatment we recieve (spelling) as they’re (spelling) is no knowing the hell that a man (emotive, slang, waffle – rewrite needed) goes through in that, there is only one thing that really matters and that is that there is adequate socialisation to prepare one for life.  Its (apostrophe) man (sexist) that (who) believes he controls his own destiny (sexist), but at the same time an individuals (apostrophe) own personality is also shaped by the culture in which they live (full stop) Meads (apostrophe) theory is that this process is shaped by social interaction (reference?) and occurs in three distinct stages (what are the three stages?) of human developement (spelling). 

What’s wrong is now right

“Men and women are victims of their anatomy” (Apple, 2011, p. 15).  People are simply products of their culture.  The process by which individuals learn a culture, socialisation, involves learning social rules and expectations of behaviour that can be divided into two stages: primary and secondary socialisation.  Primary socialisation represents the influences in early childhood from the family.   Secondary socialisation reflects factors external to the family, such as friends, school and the media (Apple, 2011).  Time, place, age, status and occupation can all affect our values, attitudes and behaviour – the socialisation we all receive (Apple, 2011).

Individuals generally believe they control their own destiny, but at the same time, an individual’s own personality is shaped by the culture in which they live.  Mead’s (1945) theory is that this process is shaped by social interaction and occurs in three distinct stages of human development.  The three stages are …

Reflective writing

A reflective essay is an evaluation. It is a record of your feelings and findings from the beginning of your experience until the end.

‘I was not really interested in OB at the start of the unit, but by end of it I learned that … and …’

The most important factor to remember in writing a reflective essay is that your opinions and conclusions should directly relate to the experiences you examined in the essay’s main body.

Essay Structure (2,000 words)

ØIntroduction (5 – 10% of the word count)

ØMain Body (80 – 90% of the word count)

ØConclusion (5 – 10% of the word count)

Ø

ØFor further information please see: the ‘succeed@writing’ site on SOL

An example of an essay structure: ‘SPSE’

Introduction – background and aim(s)

Situation – context for the problem

Problem – what is the problem and its effects?

Solution – two or more potential solutions

Evaluation – how effective are the solutions, which was most effective?

Conclusion – summarise all main points

Reference list – use the Harvard system

An essay structure for a standard university essay of 1,500 to 2,000 words (based on Peck and Coyle, 2005:101)

Eight paragraphs:

one – to introduce the topic

(Situation) two – to describe the straightforward aspects of the question

(Problem) three and four – to describe some of the more complicated implications

(Solution) five and six – two or more potential solutions

(Evaluation) seven – which one is best and why?

eight  – the conclusion

An example:
‘Am I an effective team member?’

Introductory paragraph:

a very brief outline of the argument that you are an effective team member, but only when you can better plan for a project.  Lastly, describe your main sources.

Situation

paragraph two:

The context of your team role development.

Describe any previous relevant experience, your project group and its task, your main role in the group, and the assessment grade for the task

Problem

paragraphs three and four:

Describe how the project was planned and any issues that arose as a result.  For example, a lack of attendance at meetings; intra-group rivalry; a lack of progress with tasks; a lack of attention to detail

Solutions

paragraphs five and six:

You could have used team ground rules more effectively; used Belbin’s Team Inventory theory to choose team roles more validly; planned and monitored the meetings more diligently; used more planning checklists.

Evaluation

paragraph seven:

Of all the suggested solutions, you should have given more time and attention to the roles and responsibilities within the group, by using a more rational selection method for the team roles.

Conclusion

Paragraph eight:

In no more than ten to fifteen lines, sum up the argument that you are an effective team member.  However, only when  you and the team use a rational team selection method, such as Belbin’s Team Role Inventory.

Steps in planning an essay

Start by reading the question carefully, identifying the ‘process’ words

Make a plan of key areas that should be included

Identify at least one OB concept or theory

Explain links between OB and your behaviour

Suggest solutions

Evaluate which solution is best for you

Draft the conclusion first

Write the introduction last

Paragraphs

Used to separate the main topics or arguments

Topic sentence(s) – a sentence used to highlight the main topic

Supporting sentences – to expand the idea, give examples or provide evidence

Concluding sentence(s) – should link back to the question and onto the next topic

An example paragraph

Yoga is considered to be a sport.  According to the Council of Europe’s (1992) definition, sport is any physical activity which improves physical and mental health.  Yoga can help improve health and fitness, or aid in managing stress and improving mental well being.  The Council of Europe (1992) also highlighted sport as being involved in forming social relationships, which can also be a factor in participating in Yoga classes.  Therefore, this suggests that Yoga is considered to be a sport.  However, other definitions of sport may not include Yoga.

An example paragraph

Yoga is considered to be a sport (topic sentence).  According to the Council of Europe’s (1992) definition, sport is any physical activity which improves physical and mental health.  Yoga can help improve health and fitness, or aid in managing stress and improving mental well being.  The Council of Europe (1992) also highlighted sport as being involved in forming social relationships, which can also be a factor in participating in Yoga classes (supporting sentences).  Therefore, this suggests that Yoga is considered to be a sport.  However, other definitions of sport may not include Yoga (concluding sentence and link to next paragraph).

Paragraph structure – poor example

This is an example of poor sentence and paragraph structure which is seen commonly in undergraduate work.
It is difficult to work out where the paragraph begins and where it ends because the writer seems to have no idea of how sentences or paragraphs actually work.
Nothing flows on and each of the individual sentences appears to sit as paragraphs on their own, this is confusing for the reader.

The space above would seem to suggest that a new paragraph has begun.  It is difficult to tell though because of the structuring of the sentences and the paragraph.
The same thing is happening again here.

Because of the new line starting it would seem that this is a new paragraph, but clearly the lines above do not represent a paragraph only a sentence, so who knows what it is?

Paragraph structure – good example

This is an example of a good sentence and paragraph structure, which should be seen commonly in undergraduate work.  It is easy to work out where the paragraph begins and where it ends.  This is because the writer has indented the first line and has used a series of sentences which flow on from one another.  She has also used a summing up sentence, which will now lead into the next paragraph below.

The space above, and the indent, shows that a new paragraph has begun.  It is easy to tell because of the spacing between the paragraphs.  The following sentences now flow in a logical order, which helps structure the paragraph.  This helps the reader to understand what is being written.  It also helps the writer to organise the meaning of each paragraph, and her essay as a whole.  Like any good paragraph, a summing up sentence occurs at the end, and will lead into the next paragraph.

Check paragraph beginnings and endings (Peck and Coyle, 2005)

First sentence: ‘The evidence considered so far…’
Last sentence: ‘All this suggests …’

First:  ‘The argument so far …’
Last: ‘What this points to …’

First: ‘This, however, is not the whole answer …’

Last: ‘In sum, the evidence confirms that…’

Transitions – some useful words/phrases (Greetham, 2009:332).

Similarities:  In the same way.  Likewise.  Similarly. Correspondingly.

Contrast:  However.  On the other hand.  Yet. But.  But at the same time.  Despite.  Even so.  For all that.  In contrast.  In spite of.  On the contrary.  Otherwise.

Illustration:  For example.  For instance.  That is.  In other words.  In particular.  Namely.  Specifically.  Such as.  Thus.  To illustrate.

Extension:  Similarly.  Moreover.  Furthermore.  In addition.  By extension.  What is more.  Above all.  Further.  In the same way.

Conclusion:  Therefore.  Consequently.  As a result.  Thus.

Causal relations:  As a result.  Consequently.  For that reason.  So.  Accordingly.  Owing to this.  Due to this.  Because of this.  Under these circumstances.

Transitions – some useful words/phrases

Temporal relations:  In future.  In the meantime.  In the past.  At first.  At the same time.  During this time.  Earlier.  Eventually.  Meanwhile.  Now.  Recently.  Simultaneously.

Summarising:  Finally.  In brief.  In conclusion.  In short.  In simple terms.  In summary.  On the whole.  To summarise.

Qualification:  However.  Nevertheless.  Even though.  Still.  Yet.

Alternatives:  Alternatively.  On the other hand.  Rather.

Explanation:  That is to say.  In other words.  Namely.  This means.  To put it another way.  To put it simply.

Why reference?

It is a courtesy to the original author

So you can source the original text – to check something later, for example

It gives the writer credibility

It avoids accusations of ‘plagiarism’

What is ‘plagiarism’?

Using words more or less exactly as they have been used in articles, books, lectures, television programmes, or anywhere else

Using other people’s ideas or theories without saying whose ideas they were

Paraphrasing what you read or heard without stating where it came from

Original text

‘Sport projects in the community, such as Riding for the Disabled and Playing for Success, often emphasise non-sporting justifications for why a project should be funded. For those working in the area of sport or fitness it is very common to be called upon to justify why a certain development opportunity should be undertaken (beyond the sole commercial reason of generating more income). There is a range of funding sources available in the public and voluntary sectors. Those who can justify benefits to health, education, crime or social inclusion will find far more funding opportunities available than a project that just claims a boost for a particular sport or fitness activity’ (Oakley, 2008: 68).

Student version 1

In order to secure more options for funding, sport often has to demonstrate that there are benefits to the wider community such as in health, crime or education.

Is this plagiarism?

Student version 1

In order to secure more options for funding, sport often has to demonstrate that there are benefits to the wider community such as in health, crime or education.

Is this plagiarism?   YES – no references provided

Student version 2

Oakley (2008) suggested that some sports projects have started to demonstrate the benefits to the wider community, such as health and social inclusion, in order to gain access to more funding streams.

Is this plagiarism?

Student version 2

Oakley (2008) suggested that some sports projects have started to demonstrate the benefits to the wider community, such as health and social inclusion, in order to gain access to more funding streams.

Is this plagiarism?  NO it has been put into the student’s own words and is referenced

Student version 3

Sport projects in the community, such as Riding for the Disabled and Playing for Success, often emphasise non-sporting justifications for why a project should be funded. There is a range of funding sources available in the public and voluntary sectors. Those who can justify benefits to health, education, crime or social inclusion will find far more funding opportunities available than a project that just claims a boost for a particular sport or fitness activity (Oakley, 2008).

Is this plagiarism?

Student version 3

Sport projects in the community, such as Riding for the Disabled and Playing for Success, often emphasise non-sporting justifications for why a project should be funded. There is a range of funding sources available in the public and voluntary sectors. Those who can justify benefits to health, education, crime or social inclusion will find far more funding opportunities available than a project that just claims a boost for a particular sport or fitness activity (Oakley, 2008).

Is this plagiarism? YES IT IS PLAGIARISM .  It has been copied word for word and, although the source is provided, it implies that it is in the student’s own words, because there are no speech marks to indicate what has been ‘lifted’ from the original. BE CAREFUL OF THIS.

Student version 4

Sports projects are increasingly being asked to demonstrate the impact that they make to the wider community rather than simply improving or increasing participation in the sport (Oakley, 2008).  Sport can positively contribute to physical health and mental well being, education and lifelong learning, social inclusion, the environment and crime rates (DCMS, 2002).  For example, the ‘positive futures’ initiative encouraged young people to participate in sport rather than become involved in crime, and resulted in reduced crime rates in the short term (DCMS, 2002).

Is this plagiarism?

Student version 4

Sports projects are increasingly being asked to demonstrate the impact that they make to the wider community rather than simply improving or increasing participation in the sport (Oakley, 2008).  Sport can positively contribute to physical health and mental well being, education and lifelong learning, social inclusion, the environment and crime rates (DCMS, 2002).  For example the positive futures initiative encouraged young people to participate in sport rather than become involved in crime and resulted in reduced crime rates in the short term (DCMS, 2002).

Is this plagiarism? NO, this is a good example in using two sources

Summary

Get started on your essay now

Use a logical writing process

Structure it logically (SPSE?)

Format and present it clearly

Avoid accusations of plagiarism

Where to get more information

BOLTON, G., (2010). Reflective practice: Writing and Professional Development. 3rd ed. London: Sage Publications Ltd

GERMOV, J., (2000).  Get great marks for your essays, 2nd ed. St Leonards: Allen and Unwin.

GREETHAM, B., (2009).  How to write your undergraduate dissertation.  Basingstoke: Palgrave.

MOON, J., (2009). Achieving Success through Academic Assertiveness. New York: Routledge

Where to get more information

OAKLEY, B.,(2008) ‘ Study Topic 2: Putting sport and fitness in context’ in E112 Introduction to sport, fitness and management Study Guide, Milton Keynes, The Open University.

PECK, J. and COYLE, M., (2005).  Write it right: a handbook for students.  Basingstoke: Palgrave.

SOUTHAMPTON SOLENT UNIVERSITY, (2011) ‘succeed@writing’ [online], http://mycourse.solent.ac.uk/mod/resource/view.php?id=93872 (accessed 30 December 2011).

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